I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
