I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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