I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize