she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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