well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
