No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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