why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
