So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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