idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
