question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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