I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
