PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
