just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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