Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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