Someone shit on the floor
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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