he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
