Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
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