i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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