11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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