i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
