Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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