he told me I talked like a deaf person
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Damn victory sex feels great
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
