you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize