Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
