im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
