So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Randomize
