I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize