I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
