Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
