Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
