can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
