I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
