She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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