Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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