i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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