The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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