Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
