I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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