Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
