is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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