I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
