I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
