its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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