You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
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Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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