But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
