$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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