I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize