went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Someone shattered a urinal.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
