Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
