I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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