She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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