his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
