Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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