too bad you live with your parents still
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
