Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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