I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
