Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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