Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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