Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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