I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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