Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
